‘It’s always a tricky moment for ITV when Manchester United go out of the European Cup, as they did on Tuesday. On the one hand, the broadcaster is necessarily rendered mournful by the loss of a reliable ratings-winner in the competition’s future stages. On the other hand the same broadcaster must reflect the spirit of carnival that infects the majority of its viewers whenever Britain’s least-loved club suffers a setback.
‘Think of the pressure these competing demands place on every aspect of the production, not least on Des Lynam’s moustache control. The moustache must go down to indicate concern, both for United’s watching fans and for ITV’s revenue stream. But it must also go up to acknowledge that, at that very moment, bonfires of celebration are being lit from one end of the land to the other.
‘“There is no such thing as society,” Margaret Thatcher said, but, surely, she spoke prematurely. Certainly she spoke before the development of the Champions League format. And for as long as it is possible for United to get dumped out of the European Cup unfashionably early courtesy of a last-minute goal mustered against the run of play by an unfancied Portuguese side, we — or, at least, the great, nonUnited-supporting majority of us — will
remain keenly in touch with what society is.’