THE LIAR 23 CIRCUS HEADS FOR LONDON

Last updated : 04 May 2004 By editor

'The United board contacted Becks about a sensational return this summer. And the England skipper’s advisers confirmed he is ready to say yes — but only if Fergie is not boss.

He wants to return to England and be with his family and believes it is just a matter of choosing the right Premiership club,' claims The Sun.

Other pundits and columnists tell us what we know already - it ain't Ferguson that is the problem it is the talentless bitch he chose to marry.

Alan Hansen in the Torygraph believes that Beckham should cut down on his outside interests (no shit Sherlock?) and then settle in London.

'I think the hype and attention that surrounds Beckham and his wife will have to be severely cut back. If that means reducing his commercial work then he will have to sacrifice something. When you are a young player it is much easier to spend your spare time actively. As you head towards your thirties, and Beckham was 29 yesterday, you have to spend that time resting. The body needs longer to recover from games and the odd late night out midweek can play havoc with your performance on the pitch.

The England captain should come back from Madrid a better player. He will doubtless be much wiser too. But most importantly he will be very keen to show that there is life outside United and Madrid. And that could make him more effective than ever before.'

Also in the Torygraph Henry Winter questions just what Queen Vic brings to the party apart from mither and also concludes that Beckham will end up in the smoke.

'Ask not whether David Beckham should return from Madrid. Ask more whether his wife should not head out to Madrid. Just turned 29, England's captain has probably four seasons left to make his name leap from the pages of the record books. Couples often put one career first for a period, for one partner's self-fulfilment. After spending the next 50 months trying to dominate the world, Beckham can spend 50 years driving his singer wife around recording studios.

So it looks the Bridge or bust for Beckham. And yet how much more satisfying it would be for this likeable Essex lad and all those who admire his talents for him to strut his stuff at Real. If only his wife could place her career on hold during the short period Beckham has left at the peak of his profession. And those who think Beckham's life will be quieter in London should prepare to be blinded by the battery of flashbulbs charting the star's movement around the capital.'

The Times stops just short of telling Beckham that his sojourn in Spain has been a disaster.

'If the England captain’s continued presence in Madrid depends upon convincing his wife that this is a great place to live and a fantastic club to play for, Real could not have chosen a worse strategy. Beckham’s accessibility to the press has also disappeared. For a while he was Madrid’s chattiest player, happy to spend all the time asked of him by journalists in the mixed zone after matches. But the run of bad news stories has led to the club banning some British tabloids and Beckham has become a more distant figure. He has also complained that he and his family are hounded by the paparazzi, who never give them a moment’s peace.

Reading between the lines of recent news reports, and looking back at his departure from Manchester United, it would seem that the kindest interpretation of the situation that Beckham now finds himself in is that he does not want it to look as if he is leaving Real for personal reasons — but that if the right offer came along and the Spanish club was tempted to cash in its investment, then he would be happy to go home.

If that is the case, the story of Beckham’s adventure will be added to the list of heroic English football failures abroad.'