Yes, it's NOTW:
A TOP England player had sex with a girl at a drunken party in a lapdancing club in the build-up to this week's humiliating exit from the Euro 2008 championships.
The girl pleasured the senior player then had full sex with him while captain John Terry, elsewhere, was so drunk he urinated on the floor at the birthday bash for team-mate Shaun Wright-Phillips.
The nation went into mourning this week when England failed to reach next summer's tournament with a dismal 3-2 defeat to Croatia.
But football was the last thing on the minds of several England stars at the bash at Soho's The Wardour club on October 27 - BETWEEN two crucial Euro 2008 qualifying matches.
Guests included England and Chelsea captain John Terry and a host of team-mates.
The News of the World can reveal the disgraceful scenes at the party also included:
Terry being so drunk he URINATED on the floor and in a cup. Another player begging two lapdancers for a THREESOME.
Some guests getting so drunk that they VOMITED on the floor.
An ugly SCUFFLE between Wright-Phillips and a female guest who dared to take his picture.
Terry, missing from action through a knee injury, BOUNCING up and down on his bad leg with dancers.
second witness saw the player engaged in various sex acts in the club's basement. Our source, whose identity we are protecting, said: "I saw him having oral sex with a girl near the store rooms.
"He was sitting on a chair and the girl was kneeling in front of him.
"She was wearing a dress and definitely wasn't staff, she was a guest. She was letting the player do what he wanted. He was sitting there on the chair with his pants and trousers between his knees and ankles.
"When she was astride him he hadn't bothered to take her clothes off or anything, he just pushed her dress up and went for it."