THE BIGGEST KEANE TWAT IS...

"...Immediately after scoring a goal against Saudi Arabia, those giants of world football, Robbie Keane raced across the pitch and, directly in front of the pitch-side camera, performed a mime of an archer firing an arrow. He crouched down, drew one hand back and then simulated letting go of the bowstring and went kerpppowwww! I don't know what you thought about that, if you saw it. I wanted to climb inside the television and smack him about the head. Or maybe respond with a real arrow. It was hugely irritating, the sort of smug, dumb, self-aggrandising thing you might expect one of the Big Brother cretins to perform, or possibly Lulu. It made me spit..."