‘A busy commuter train derailed in Liverpool city centre during the rush-hour last night following a suspected mechanical fault. All 119 passengers on board the underground train were safely evacuated after it came off the tracks as it travelled from Lime Street to Central Station. The only casualties were two people who suffered shock, a spokesman for Merseyside Fire Service said.’
Despite this, rumours abound that 100,000 Scousers now claim to have been on the train, and are all pursuing compensation claims. It is also rumoured that some frozen Turkey legs were lost in the confusion; a makeshift shrine has apparently sprung up by Central Station with flowers and messages of support left for the Turkey and the owner. Liverpool Football Club has so far not denied that 5 minute silences will be held at their next three home matches.