MASSIVE WORLD CUP TRIVIA, RUMOURS AND NEWSBITES ROUNDUP

It really is Man City in size Alan Nixon in the Indie is claiming that United are about to submit a formal 30 million offer for Rio Ferdinand and that talks with Kenyon have been going on for weeks.

The Guardian notes that Liverpool-bound striker El Hadji Diouf could be fined after diving. Quite right too; and Owen dived the other day of course. See a pattern? They think they're at Anfield, not Yokohama. Scouse 'fans' are also robbing everyone blind over there, according to our correspondent (see elsewhere on site today). Same old same old.

Forlan tells the press: "I just can't talk about Richard Morales' last-minute chance. I bet even he can't explain how he missed it." Yeah, bit like you not hitting that EC semi shot hard enough, hey? Meanwhile the Uruguay press are unanimously blaming their boss for their World Cup exit for not picking Forlan till too late. Nothing to do with their ultra-negativity and non-stop fouling, then.

Alastair Campbell is being linked to United yet again. The Guardian: "His critics say the former Mirror journalist, 45 last month, has lost his tabloid edge and is now more worried about his weight (he jogs) than the job that has preoccupied him for eight hectic years. Some claim he is bored and wants a new challenge, a big job at Manchester United perhaps or a bigger one as MP for Burnley. He denies the Burnley MP theory and tells visitors he intends to stick around...." - but doesn't deny the United story, hey!?

Robbie Keane has complained that FIFA's drug testing stopped him celebrating with team mates after the match. Think you did enough of that ON the pitch, you total chump. FIFA probably saw your bizarre behaviour and thought "what the fuck's that twat on? Get him pissing in a bottle, pronto."

The M.E.N. reports that English Heritage is hosting a conference in Manchester to discuss the study of sports buildings and locations. Settings include the Manchester Tennis and Racquets Club on Blackfriars Road, Salford, which dates back to 1880 and is thought to be the second oldest building of its type still in use. At the site of the old Castle Irwell racecourse in Salford is a former members' stand. It was built in 1961 just two years before the track closed. But it convinced directors at Manchester United that executive boxes were a good idea..

USB Warburg were voted top stockbrokers of year yesterday for their superb share-judging track record. They're the ones who last week downgraded United shares and set the cat amongst the corporate pigeons. Combined with the ground-breaking 'United branding is shit story', it's not been a good plc week, has it?

Danny Baker's whimsical suggestion in The Times from three weeks ago has come to pass. A World Cup for the worst teams in world being held in Bhutan on June 30, where Bhutan play Montserrat (the two bottom ranked FIFA teams)...a gate of over 15,000 is expected. Veron is to guest for Bhutan.

Diego Maradona. Comes all the way from Cuba to help his boys go through. 48 hours later, they're out. Shame, really. Haha.

Top celeb Red Ralf Little - "I'd give up acting for football anyday" - was out on the town in an Argy shirt this week ( as seen in 3am, the Mirror)...and full credit to him for binning off ubiquitous bimbo Lisa Rogers and making her cry. The Sun reckons:

"Pals say Lisa, 30, found Ralf, 22, immature." As opposed to the classy maturity of announcing on BBC TV that you want Veron to "shag you up the arse", I suppose. Yer well out of that, Ralfie boy. Besides, the way Veron's playing, he'd end up in your arse even when he's truly aiming for the c*nt.

30 million crosses to bear for England: two months ago Aggy Akhtar decided to go into business selling England's Cross of St George from an East London industrial estate. He has since sold £6 million worth of them. Six mill in two months! That's more than Fartin made in his last sell-off. Jeez. Meanwhile, Ford should simply spray the things onto their new white vans and be done with it.

Dunphy Disease crosses Irish Sea. The Guardian reports: 'Having enjoyed a few cold drinks during the England v Argentina match that afternoon, the Sunderland manager clearly decided that, with an appearance on live television ahead of him, he should forgo a mammoth bender and sober up in time for his stint as pundit. However, as anyone with extensive experience of daytime drinking will know, a return to total sobriety is nearly always impossible. Reidy, as honest a manager as he was a player, fessed up at the top of the programme. "I've had a few drinks earlier, so excuse me if I slur my words," he announced, trying his hardest not to slip off the edge of the sofa. Thankfully for all concerned, his contributions were minimal, and he punctuated the programme with a series of meandering and pointless interjections which made Gazza sound like Peter Ustinov. Near the end of the show, Gary Lineker gave Reid one final
opportunity to add something meaningful by asking for his opinion on Brazil. His
response? "Sorry, were you talking to me? I've missed my cue again, haven't I?"

Had anyone ever seen such a set of hairstyles such as those sported by the Argy team? Fucking disgraceful, like a whole team of results from some Poborky/Forlan crossbreed experiment. And about as effective in front of goal too, arf. BTW amidst all the hysteria - England's negativity against Nigeria now means they might meet Brazil in quarterfinals, and thus thereupon exit. Had they won the group, Brazil would've been postponed till the semis, allowing a greater chance for brazil to build up nerves/injuries/suspensions...and an exit in the semis would have been equal to England's best-ever away World Cup performance, whereas a QF drubbing will be seen as disappointing won't it? Shades of Glenda Hoddle cocking up in 98 and having to face Argies in rd 2 isn't it? Nice to see Nicky Butt back to his 'best' anyway too - four long-rangers, all into the stands. good lad Nick. Bigmouth's bet: Brazil vs Spain or Germany in Final.

The M.E.N. reports: Man United fan and student Ben O'Reilly gets a real kick out of his studies. Now the 21-year-old reckons he has come up with the answer to the injury problems which dogged the England team as they set off on their World Cup campaign. The Salford University undergraduate has invented a protective cover designed to keep the small bones in the foot safe from fractures and tendons free from bruising. And because the material is just as flexible as a regular boot, Ben reckons it will not impede the player's performance - even at the highest level. Ben believes his invention - which he has dubbed the "Nexus" - could have spared United colleagues David Beckham and Gary Neville from their broken metatarsal bones.

Yonners can't even behave when 'we' win: MEN reports that "Police in Bolton said if fans did not behave themselves after the matches they may impose a town centre alcohol ban for future fixtures. Supporters rampaged through the Bradshawgate area after Friday's win."

Franz Beckenbauer: "I was stunned by the way Cameroon played. It frightened me. I have never seen such a lazy group of players compete in a World Cup." - what about Germany in 1994, you arrogant kraut k*nt?

Wimmin. Snigger. "After the first game against Cameroon, there was a steady trickle of patients who had injured themselves by jumping up and down in front of the TV....One woman sustained a very severe laceration by jumping up and landing on a vase in her sitting room." [Times]

It's just like watching Brazil: "I've watched carefully the way Beckham shoots and it's amazing. His technique is impressive," Roberto Carlos said. "He can put the ball wherever he wants. Even better than me."

Japs copycatting as usual - The Guardian reports: "For instance, during Japan's games, the crowd chants continuously. Apart from the occasional chorus of "Nippon" the chants are entirely wordless. But - and this is important to a population as fashion conscious as the Japanese - they are the very latest tunes they have heard from Premiership crowds on the television. They are particularly fond of that one based on a Scott Joplin rag that Manchester United fans chanted all season about following the Reds to Glasgow (a chant which, in truth, turned out to be less than prophetic).

Corporate fuckups part 94. In the stupid Adidas footballitis ad shown at HT on Friday, virtually all the players bar Becks who were featured are already on way home. And Adidas are now rueing the FOUR MILLION quid they spent to be 'associated' with France during the tourney.

Ah, Belgium's manager. Watch out for possible heart attacks this morning from the Fat By Passed One. And more great press conferences, such as last week's when he accused hacks of 'wallowing in their own stinking shit'. Top bloke!

Beck together? The Sun: Becks' parents Ted and Sandra were together again or the Nigeria game. They sat next to each other, filming their son on a video camera as he sweated it out for his country. I was told they aren't back together following their split earlier this year, but pals are hoping the World Cup could lead to a reconciliation.

Ex-Red bites dust. Watford have sacked Ray Wilkins after one season as assistant to manager Gianluca Vialli. The former 45-year-old England international was number two at Vicarage Road but has been axed one year into a three-year contract in a bid to cut costs.

People: Quieroz has already pushed Sir Alex Ferguson towards signing World Cup new boy Hugo Viana. The Sporting Lisbon starlet is fancied by Liverpool - who have offered £6m through an agent - and Chelsea if they do not tie up Flavio Conceicao from Real Madrid.

Guardian: AC Milan is the latest club to declare their interest in Leeds and England defender Rio Ferdinand.

People: Watching Nicky Butt is just like watching Brazil, according to World Cup
legend Zico. The former Brazil ace, who played in three World Cups for the Samba stars, reckons our midfield maestro would walk into Phil Scolari's side. Zico said: "Nicky Butt was the key player for me, he was outstanding against Argentina. I like him a lot. He plays with high energy and is very skilful. I like that in a player. David Beckham is important too, but Butt is central to the England side. He would easily make the Brazil team." But Zico believes that even with Butt's brilliance, England won't win the title. "They're not strong enough, but with Butt in the side they may be able to go a long way."

Guardian: David Beckham probably has the freedom of most corners of England at the moment, but not, it would seem, the vacant fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square. A waxwork figure of the England captain made a brief appearance on the plinth at 6am on Tuesday, but despite hooting horns and shouts of encouragement from passersby, wardens from the Greater London Authority insisted that he be taken down. A spokesman for Madame Tussauds, which arranged for the statue to be transported from the museum and put on the plinth by a cherry picker, said: "We came to realise how much the British public love David Beckham by the way people behave around him - they can't get enough of him. We wanted to do something to reflect the country's depth of emotion. We couldn't think of a more popular choice for the vacant spot." A heritage warden, who refused to give his name, said: "The statute went up at
about 6.30 and as I was starting my shift they began taking it down. I thought it
looked great. They didn't have permission to put it up so were told to take it down. Pity." The Greater London Authority refused to comment.

People: Pub goers who strung up Becks's effigy after his sending off against
Argentina in 1998 ended up kissing and hugging it at the Pleasant Pheasant, in
Norwood, South London, in tribute to him.

FIFA deny Adidas World Cup official balls are made by child labour. And of course we believe them.