I'M YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN

Mike Tyson’s questionable credentials as a youth development guru were summed up when he suggested that he would like to eat Lennox Lewis’s babies. Undaunted by his flawed CV, the former world heavyweight champion has now followed in the footsteps of Sepp Blatter and decided that he is perfectly placed to advise Wayne Rooney.

Whether Rooney needs the help of the self-styled “baddest man on the planet” is a moot point, but the convicted rapist is keen to sit down with the Manchester United forward when he comes to England next month as part of a speaking tour. If the notion has an air of Irony Mike about it, Tyson seems oblivious. “I’d like to meet Wayne Rooney,” he said. “I’ve been watching him and Manchester United recently and he’s been having some trouble with his behaviour on the pitch. I could relate to what he was going through.”

Tyson has already come to some conclusions about Rooney. “He just seemed like he was having a good time,” he said of the tyro’s indiscretions. Such defences traditionally founder in the face of a disciplinary panel, but Tyson will press on regardless. “I will be going to Manchester while I’m over,” he said. “I like Manchester and already have a Manchester United shirt.”

Ray Fisher, the promoter of the question-and-answer tour, insists that Tyson will not duck any issues, but it remains to be seen whether he can solve England’s problem on the left side of midfield after dealing with Rooney. Quite what Sir Alex Ferguson makes of it all is unknown. First Blatter, now Tyson. The United manager is probably expecting a thesis on Rooney’s temperament from the Teletubbies any day now.

The trip to Britain is part of Tyson’s attempt to forge a life after boxing. He retired in June after a defeat by Kevin McBride, a game journeyman, and admitted that his heart was no longer in the sport and he was boxing only to pay off debts. He will also speak in London and Birmingham.