I'LL HAVE A BOBBY C, PLEASE

Confirming what many have suspected for decades, Bobby Charlton's infamous
comb-over hairstyle has been named as "the worst hairstyle in history" in a
survey published today.

In a poll conducted by Brylcreem of 1,000 people, the dreaded "comb-over",
which the survey takers helpfully describe as the style when "baldies brush
hair from one side over to the other to cover the patch", was judged to be
the worst "hairstyle disaster" a man can commit.

Former World Cup winner Bobby Charlton is probably its most notorious
supporter, although he cut it off last year after admitting that he looked
"ridiculous". It has also been the favoured look for Neil Kinnock, Rudy
Giuliani and Clive Anderson.

Hairstyles worn by British footballers feature in almost every position in
the top five of the survey's worst haircuts. Following the comb-over is the
mullet at number two, as worn by former England winger, Chris Waddle.

A Brylcreem spokesperson described it as "noticeable" that footballers
featured largely in the survey. But one footballer's hairstyle, the 70s
perm, as worn by Kevin Keegan, does not feature at all.

On the contrary, two thirds of women questioned said they considered curly
haired men "more approachable" than those with straight hair.

Similarly, eight in 10 of the women said men with shorter hair were more
attractive, men with longer, 70s-influenced styles "more loving". Though
not, presumably, if they comb it over their bald patch.