Simon Jordan in the Observer talking about agents.
Do I regret saying football's a 'bullshit world full of bullshit people'? It's a statement that's followed me around since I made it last season. I probably could have put it better, and while some took it well - Freddy Shepherd phoned to say 'Hi, it's one of the tossers here' - others definitely didn't. One in particular took real delight in Palace's relegation, telling me as much to my face. But do I regret the sentiment? Not even slightly.
I first came across agent Leon Angel when I sacked Trevor Francis in April 2003. I told Trevor we could do a simple deal on his compensation very quickly just between us, but warned that if he brought in an outside influence - an adviser - it could take a lot longer. Trevor engaged Angel, and four months later we were still talking.
The next time I saw Angel was in May this year, exactly a week after our relegation, walking on to our training ground. He'd arranged a meeting with Iain Dowie to tell him that Andrew Johnson, who'd always insisted he wanted to stay at Palace, wanted to leave. I joined the meeting. Would we give him a mandate to find a buyer, Angel asked?
He didn't get one. After a summer of what I found to be completely divisive interventions from Angel, I finally managed to get Andy on his own last week, away from the agent. Andy's a sensible young man, who knows what he's worth as an England striker. He has a good relationship with his employer - an agent's worst nightmare - and we did a deal on a new contract in five minutes.
There are plenty of agents who work well, who do a decent job for a very large reward, and who know if they treat people like me fairly, will be treated fairly in return. I have shares in one agency that I know works constructively: it doesn't make me a hypocrite, it makes me someone who can see the clear distinction.
So what am I asking other chairmen to do? In fairness, many don't need asking. I may be the mouthpiece - the one lighting the blue touchpaper - but some chairmen do take the same line as me in refusing to deal with the divisive operators, albeit more quietly. Others, though, are a huge part of the problem. It's mostly those who haven't put their own money into clubs - people such as David Gill at Manchester United. If Gill's salary was index-linked to the amount he spends on agents, United's agent fee bill last year wouldn't have been £5.5m.
And what am I asking the authorities to do? To make agents transparent, regulated, controlled. They shouldn't be allowed to divide clubs and players, and give players bad advice, driven by the desire to line their own pockets. It's also nonsense to suggest adults can't negotiate for themselves.
By standing up and making statements like this, and by acting against certain agents and groups, I'm going against the grain and I'm taking a risk that people won't want to deal with me or with Palace. I regret it may already have cost us the chance to sign Tim Cahill last summer: when his agent asked me to pay him £125,000 - for what? - I was stunned.
But what's the alternative? Sit back, do a Peter Ridsdale and let them take me as a patsy, as a mug? Agents made a fortune out of Ridsdale, and almost destroyed Leeds. I'm passionate about Crystal Palace and I know I'm acting directly for the well-being of the club by making a stand. Three years ago we put an injunction on Steve Bruce when he tried to walk out, to make the point that contracts mean something. Sometimes you have to fight these battles, and hope that the precedent you set will catch on.
Some people dismiss all this, telling me I should be living in the real world - that bad agents are as much a part of the
game as spitting, diving and cheating. What a great real world that is. A world where players such as Rio Ferdinand are advised to reject £100,000 a week. A world where players get paid a basic salary for turning up to work, appearance money for doing their job, goal bonuses for doing their job well and a loyalty payment for staying for one year of a four-year contract?
This isn't the real world - it's a banana republic. And if people in the game can't see that - and think things can't get any better, fairer or more decent - God help us.