DISINFECTANT REQUIRED - THE CARPETS MAY BE STICKY
The Sun:
Alan Shearer last night kicked off Newcastle's new Premier League battle with Sunderland — by asking Roy Keane to pay eight times too much for his house!
In an explosive rant which lifts the lid on the astonishing bust-ups that shaped his career, Shearer wasted no time in having a sly dig at former sparring partner Keane.
With the Mackems back in the top flight under the inspirational Irishman, big things are expected of Sunderland next term.
But St James' Park legend Shearer has already landed the first blow by trying to stitch up Keano.
He said: "I put one of my houses up for sale for £750,000. He came to look at it and it went up to £6million when I found out it was him."
Toon hero Shearer added: "I don't know him personally but I have got a tremendous amount of respect for him as a player on the football pitch.
"He was one of those players where if we had 11 Roy Keanes on the pitch in our team, we would have gone on to be very successful.
"But I never spent any time with him one on one."
STINKS OF P*** HITS THE P***
Bellamy drives Show Us Your Medals to drink.
Shearer, talking at rumours of Craig Bellamy re-signing at Barcode Central:
"Has no one learnt their lesson about signing him?
"If only Rafa Benitez had rung me I would have told him exactly what he was like. I hope there isn't anything in (the Newcastle reports).
"I was having a few days away in France with (former Newcastle team-mates) Gary Speed and Steve Harper and the wives and I picked up the newspaper. I was having a fantastic day.
"But when I read Bellamy for Newcastle I thought I would definitely have to have another drink. I had several."
MOURINHO DIG AT THE DIPPERS
"Liverpool fans can continue to chant 'no history' at us but we continue to make it.
"They have their history, we have our history. They are a club with a history in Europe that Chelsea doesn't have, and their history is magnificent, but I think for 17 years they don't win one championship and we won two in the last three years.