ALL THE GOSSIP

“I'm under contract with United until 2006. I'm working in good conditions. We are playing the leading role again. Everything is fine.

“We are in good spirits because we have just won nine points from three games against major pretenders to the title,' he added. It's a lot of work but it also is very encouraging for the future.

“We were missing five or six regulars against Arsenal but all the players played well. We respected instructions and stayed focused as we did at Liverpool. We have recovered continuity in our results.”

Cover your ears, Posh is back. From the Mirror:

Far from cracking up and quitting showbiz because she is so stressed after the plan to kidnap her, Victoria Beckham has been quietly working on her new album. The singer travelled to a studio in London last week to write new material, and she is recording later this week.

"I'm not going to be a judge on Pop Idol. I've never even watched the show. I'm busy working on my new album at the moment. I have no plans to do any TV programmes and I don't want to be a TV presenter.

"There aren't many stories about me which make me laugh but I can honestly say David and I cracked up when we read the latest offering. It's total nonsense."

Clayton Blackmore interviewed, check out the intriguing last line. Whatever could he mean?

- Are you still in contact with everyone up at Man U as well?
- I still do a bit of commentating work for MUTV and that's good fun. And a lot of the young lads grew up with me, Beckham, Butt and Paul Scholes. It's still really nice to see them playing there and improving.

- Would you consider yourself an influence on their careers?
- Well they've got to learn from someone I suppose! But they have their own game as well, they've added things and improved the game.

- Ryan Giggs and you must have quite a lot to talk about. Both legends at Manchester, both legends for Wales.
- My main aim in football nowadays is to see Ryan playing in the European Championships or the World Cup - on the world stage. He's one of those players, like George Best, who never got to show himself at the highest level.

- Talking of Manchester United legends - have you still got the old Clayton Blackmore ladies-man reputation?
- Ha, ha, ha, no, no. I've packed all that in now. I realised it costs you too much money!

Possible transfer gossip from the Guardian:

“Emre's success will only strengthen Inter manager Hector Cuper's preference for the Turk over Uruguayan Alvaro Recoba - whose brilliant but deeply patchy history at the club could thus finally be drawing to a close. Watch this space for talk of interest from major European sides, including Manchester United.”

The Independent reports that Merril Lynch have urged clients to buy into United. They reckon shares should be at 180 pence. The report backs this up by suggesting media rights value will RISE (!!) and that player wage explosion is over.

Brian Kidd is again strongly linked with becoming assistant to SGE for England. The Times claims he’s the “leading candidate to replace Steve McClaren on England's coaching staff after emerging as the choice of the most influential players”.

Ouch! From the Guardian:

Who wants to be Des Lynam?
For charidee and the amusement of the nation Des Lynam is taking part in a Christmas special of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Just to save his blushes, Monkey can today offer our Des a sneak peak at the questions.

For £1,000: how much did ITV buy exclusive rights to the Premiership for?
A: too much.

For £2,000: you left the BBC to join ITV to avoid staying up until 10.30pm on Saturday night. At what time does The Premiership go out?
A: 10.30pm.

For £4,000: what does 'has been' mean?
A: someone who isn't what they used to be.

For £8,000: what percentage of the first edition of The Premership was adverts? A: 46%.

For £16,000: what was the ratio over which BBC beat ITV in the 2002 World Cup ratings?
A: 8-1.

For £32,000: The Premiership's former top pundit Terry Venables now puts his theories into practice at Leeds United. What do the Elland Road crowd now regularly do at full time?
A: boo and walk out.

For £64,000: when in serious financial trouble, what did ITV Digital offer to new subscribers to its service?
A: a stuffed toy monkey.

For £125,000: what happened to Terry Venables' Pro-zone and Andy Townsend's tactics bus?
A: who cares?

For £250,000: please repeat anything intelligible Paul Gascoigne said during his stint on ITV's World Cup panel.
A:"_ _ _ _".

For £500,000: which is less humiliating? Having your moustache dyed purple as an advert for Nintendo's GameCube, or presenting The Premiership?
A: Having your moustache dyed purple as an advert for Nintendo's GameCube.

And for £1,000,000: which sports presenter, who had the nation in tears with his moving rendition of Rudyard Kipling's If after the 1998 World Cup, is now reduced to appearing on a tired format quiz show, having been relegated to the Vauxhall Conference league of ITV "celebrities"?
A: (point to self and weep).